The Dion Files

Falling Into You

By Jeannine Ackerson

 

Jan. 8, 1997

Rating: PG for the use of swear words.

Disclaimer: The X-Files as well as the characters portrayed therein are property of C. Carter, Fox Broadcasting, 1013 Prod., and most importantly: they don't belong to me. Also, "Falling Into You" which is by Celine Dion, COPS, Most Wanted and a slew of other tv shows are mentioned/used here without permission.

Relationship: MSR. Anti-relationshippers should avoid this like the plague. I won't be held responsible if you read it. :-)

Summary: Mulder has a revelation, and emotionally pushes Scully until she can't deny that she's fallen for him.

Hi All! Here we are, a new installment for the Dion files. I decided to let the title of the song dictate the direction the story went. And I have to say I'm very pleased on which way it wanted to go. <g> Now, to the story . . .

 

When elevator arrived, Agent Dana Scully walked in, and then hit the button for the lobby. With a sigh she leaned back against the cool, smooth metal walls. Her eyes slid shut, the weight of the thoughts running through her head making them too heavy to keep open.

Why does he have to say those things to me, she wondered silently. He doesn't have a clue that every time he leans into my space and makes one of those suggestive comments, or one of those racy innuendoes that my heart rate goes through the roof? Doesn't he know that its been like that for years?

She couldn't help thinking about it, and the last few days replayed in her head, showing like a movie across her closed eyelids the events that had been slowly driving her crazy.

It had all started on Wednesday.

He'd been leaning over her shoulder at her desk after she'd come in. He seemed to be looking at the files on her desk, but he was closer to her than he'd ever gotten to her before when he was simply *working* or "looking for a file". Suddenly he'd said to her, his tone suggestive and his breath tickling her ear, "So Scully, do you want to know what kind of *excitement* I've got in store for us today?"

She'd felt goose bumps all along her skin, and she had fought and failed to control the shiver that ran up her back. With a very uncertain voice she had replied, "Sure. I don't see why not."

Then he had given her a look that she would have sworn was the most breathtaking she had ever seen him wear. It looked like it was full of desire and love and longing and so many other things she had never expected to see in his eyes when they were directed at her.

Then, without another word he had handed her a stack of paperwork, and proceeded back to his desk. Once there he launched himself into his own batch of paperwork. In the span of five seconds he was back to being all business. It was as if the phrase that he'd just uttered had never left his lips, the look in his eyes never there.

With a silent sigh she'd squashed every emotion she had for him that he'd just effortlessly brought up within her back into the depths where she kept them. Somehow she'd made it through those early morning hours, and had even gotten the paperwork completed. Then she'd quickly excused herself for lunch, hoping to compose herself, and to return to find things and him back to normal. But she didn't and he wasn't. He'd simply gotten worse.

God, it was getting unbearable. With each passing day it had become more obvious, more graphic. She felt the need to take a cold shower half the time she was with him, and the rest of the time she fought to keep her mind on her work, and not on his incredibly wonderful smile, those gorgeous eyes, the soft brown hair, the body to die for . . . With some exasperation she tore her thoughts away from those images, and instead found herself wrestling with a new, but undeniable fact.

The whole situation wouldn't have been so bad except for one thing.

She was in love with him.

Why'd she have to fall for Fox Mulder, she asked herself again. Being in love with him was just making the whole thing worse. Her emotions were in a free fall. And she knew she didn't have a parachute, and there sure as hell wasn't going to be a soft landing. Because she was sure he was just teasing. Just like always.

Finally she heard the bell ring, indicating the garage level, and with the scrape of metal the doors opened. Opening her eyes, she walked out into the garage, and made her way to her car. In a few minutes she was inside, and then she found herself slumping her head against her arms over the steering wheel.

Why does he have to do this to me, she wondered with despair. Doesn't he have a clue how uncomfortable it makes me? How badly I want to tell him how I feel when he whispers in my ear? How much I want him when he touches me like that? God *damn* him for being an insensitive bastard.

In a fit of frustration mixed with anger and longing, she slammed the heel of her hand into the steering wheel. Then she quickly composed herself. With a violent twist of the keys she turned over the ignition and put the car in gear.

She pulled away totally unaware that she'd been observed by a pair of bright hazel eyes by the emergency stairs doorway.

Mulder had been playing with her, because he knew that it drove her crazy. Of course, the fact that it was his only outlet for the feelings he'd had for her made it all the more meaningful. She thought he was kidding each time he made a suggestive comment, or leered at her. The fact was, for the last six months, every single one of those looks or comments had been based on pure want, desire and adoration.

Simply put, he was in love with his partner.

But he was certain that she would rebuff him if she ever realized he was serious. That thought had pretty much kept him to strictly making little jokes with her. Plus the most basic Bureau commandment, "Thou shalt not have an affair with your partner" had helped keep his emotions buried.

That was, until Wednesday.

He'd been in her space again, just a little more than usual. And had said something pretty suggestive when it happened.

She shivered.

And he saw it.

He had physically felt the reverberating waves of desire go through him as he realized just what had caused that shiver. Anyone else who'd witnessed the scene would have thought that it was nothing, just a shiver from the cold. But having worked with Scully for three years, he knew it was something else. She'd never reacted to him like that before. Or, at least he'd never know that she had.

Energized with this knowledge, he had made a decision. He'd started a full fledged campaign to make Dana Katherine Scully as crazy about him as he was about her. And he had continued the rest of the week to turn up the heat on her.

What had surprised him the most was how easily he'd succeeded. It was almost as if she hadn't that far to go in the first place.

Today he'd had a sudden flash of clarity. He realized that she hadn't.

Everything she'd done, had said, been through with him had been screaming her affection for him, her devotion to him. Yet he'd never thought to look for it, so he hadn't seen it.

So he'd pushed her, almost to the point that she could file sexual harassment charges against him if he was wrong. But he wasn't, he was sure of it. And he knew it wouldn't be much longer until the issue came to the surface.

Just tonight she'd nearly tripped over herself to get out of the office. But he had caught her before she could leave. With both arms he'd caged her, pushing her towards the wall. She stood there, looking up at him like a trapped animal. Then, leaning over, he'd whispered in the most seductive voice he could muster, "Good night Scully. Remember, if you need any help getting tucked in tonight, don't hesitate to call me."

She had frozen in between his body and the wall. Then with an urgency he'd never seen in her before, she had scrambled away from him, and rushed out the door, slamming it against the wall in her rush to leave.

It was right then that he knew she was at the edge. And he was too.

The last three days had been more torturous than the last three years had been. He knew that he had to tell her. Because he had to have her. There was no two ways about it anymore. He couldn't deny his feelings for her anymore, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that neither could she.

The final clincher came when he raced down the stairs to observe her getting to her car. He had followed her every move from the elevator door, and then it had happened. He saw her lose her composure in her car, her frustration and anger beginning to show outwardly. Then she turned over the engine and drove off.

He had to finish this now. Any longer would be pure agony. To both of them. Letting the emergency door shut behind him, he headed for his own car with one thing on his mind. He had to see Dana.

Scully had come home, and thrown her coat on the couch before crashing down on it. This was just too draining she mused. The strength to fight off her attraction to Mulder was becoming a Herculean effort. Something was going to have to give, and soon. And part of her was scared to death that it would come down to her having to leave him and the X-Files before she could bear to look at him without feeling the desire that ran through her veins.

Pushing away those thoughts, she automatically reached for the remote control and flipped on the TV. On appeared the news. More depressing stuff, she thought with disgust, and then changed channels. The next one was a kung fu movie, complete with bad subtitles. With the press of the button, she scanned through the channels: wrestling, COPS, Most Wanted, some stupid paranormal show with FBI investigators, Looney Tunes . . .

She stopped when she hit a music video. At least that would be engaging, she thought. It was playing a soft pop song. The performer was Celine Dion. That little at least she was able to catch before it began. But the song . . . she'd never heard it before, but the words . .

"And in your eyes

I see ribbons of color

I see us inside of each other

I feel my unconscious merge with yours

And I hear a voice say, "What's his is hers"

I'm falling into you

This dream could come true

And it feels so good falling into you"

God, it seemed like the song was about her. Her and Mulder. Falling into Mulder, she thought with sarcasm. Hell, she'd done that years ago. When she'd walked in the door and seen that man with the professor wire-rimmed glasses turn around and her heart had leapt into her throat. And that first touch . . . She'd felt that electricity jolt her. She'd begun to fall for him right then and there. There was no denying that.

"I was afraid to let you in here

Now I have learned love can't be made in fear

The walls begin to tumble down

And I can't see the ground

I'm falling into you

This dream could come true

And it feels so good falling into you"

It was like they hadn't been two people for a long time. Except she'd fought that. She'd been scared to death of it. She'd tried to close herself off from him emotionally when she'd started to fall too deep. When he started to get too close. But it was too late. The truth was she wasn't *just* in love with Mulder, he'd become a *part* of her. Part of her soul, heart, mind and body. Just like she wanted to believe she was a part of him.

"Falling like a leaf, falling like a star

Finding a belief, falling where you are"

God, she wanted to believe that Mulder felt something for her. But after nearly three years together he'd never shown any interest in her like that. He'd always been polite. Always been courteous. A light touch here or there, but never anything else. A racy, suggestive comment was as close as he'd ever come to making her feel like he was at all attracted to her. Then he'd go looking for Bambi look alikes, and that would be that.

"Catch me, don't let me drop

Love me, don't ever stop"

Love me? Would he ever stop loving me, she wondered. Then she reminded herself viciously, with a dash of self-depreciation that he had to *start* first.

"So close your eyes and let me kiss you

And while you sleep I will miss you

I'm falling into you

This dream could come true

And it feels so good falling into you"

Without warning the slightest tear welled up in her eye, and broke loose. As it slid slowly down her cheek, she knew the feelings that the song mirrored might be hers, but she was certain they weren't his.

"Falling like a leaf, falling like a star

Finding a belief, falling where you are

Falling into you

Falling into you

Falling into you"

The knock at the door startled her out of her reverie just as the song seemed to melt away as if it had never been. Nearly jumping from the couch, she headed to the door and opened it. When she saw Mulder standing there, she involuntarily backed up a step. With a sudden panic, she unconsciously went for her face to wipe away the tear that was still tracking its way down her cheek. Instead she met his fingers which had somehow beaten her there.

His long fingers barely brushed her skin as he gently wiped her tear away, but it still produced a shiver from her. She had to get him to leave. Now. Her emotions were still too raw, too exposed for her to deal with him right then.

"Mulder, what are you doing here?" Scully asked, sounding out of breath.

"We need to talk Dana. First I need to apologize for this week, the things I did . . ." Mulder began, as he drew his hand from her face. Then he was sidestepping his way into her apartment. Turning, he could see her still standing there, holding the door open and her shoulder's slumped as if she was tired.

He knew that she was. The last three days had taken their toll on her, and he couldn't deny that it had taxed him as well. But he had needed to know. And the results of his attentions were obvious. All the feelings they'd been keeping in check were finally at the surface, and the pain that went with them as well.

"Apology accepted Mulder. Now if there wasn't anything else, I'd really rather not . . ." she said as she turned towards him. She nearly gasped as she realized that he was standing right next to her.

With barely restrained violence, Mulder tore the door from her hand and slammed it closed. Her eyes flew up to meet his with shock and concern playing within. But as he gazed into her eyes, he could feel something else in them. He could see it hiding there just beneath their crystal blue. And it gave him the courage and desire to continue.

"Fox, Dana," he said simply, reaching over to lay his hand on her cheek. The other he snaked around her waist, drawing her to him. "My name is Fox. And that's something else I need to apologize for. For keeping you at arm's length, pushing you away all these years. I need you to know I only did it out of self-preservation. Because you were just too close."

With difficulty, Scully got her voice to work, and tried to figure out exactly what he was talking about.

"Too close? Mulder," then when she saw his disapproving look at her words, she did as he seemed to want, "Fox, I don't understand."

"Yes you do Dana. It's the same thing you've been doing. The hiding and the half-lies to cover the truth. The burying your feelings because you thought there was no hope. That the other was getting too close to your heart when all you wanted was for them to take their place there," Mulder explained at length, though he didn't feel like he was saying it right. Of course the confused look on his partner's face sort of added to that feeling.

"Scully. Dana," he said suddenly, and she looked into his eyes then, feeling the electricity that she'd been feeling in the office for the last three days, hell the last three years spark again. "This isn't a game to me anymore. It not just joking or innuendoes. Every time I put my hand against your spine, or invade your space, I want to follow through with something much more inappropriate. I've fallen for my partner, Dana and I didn't know until just today that my partner might have fallen for me too."

"I . . ." she started, but what he was telling her was cluttering up her ability to answer him.

"So am I wrong? Did I imagine it? Did I misinterpret all those responses? Cause if so, I need you to tell me now before I make too big a fool out of myself Scully," he urged, his voice almost pleading with her.

"No . . ." she whispered.

"No what Scully?" he pushed. He knew what she meant, but he desperately wanted to hear her say it.

"No, you weren't wrong. You didn't imagine it. I do feel they way . . ." she swallowed hard. After all the years of denying her feelings, it was hard to finally give voice to them.

"Say it Dana. You're the strongest person I've ever known. I can't believe that you're afraid of three simple words. Here, I'll help you out," he said, taking her hands and squeezing them tightly in his. "I love you Dana."

The smile that broke across her face nearly expanded Mulder's heart to its breaking point. It was so like a little girls. He didn't think he could love her any more than he did right at this minute. That was until she finally let her heart speak the words that were in her heart.

"I love you too Mulder. More than I ever thought possible."

It was his turn to smile, a lopsided pleased grin that just about lit up the room. Then he bent down and kissed her. Nothing demanding or forceful. Just a sweet, tender kiss. And when he pulled back a few moments later, her smile returned with a vengeance.

So they stood there, hearts and hands together, eyes locked on one another. And Dana was sure that she could feel it right then and there. Staring into each other's eyes, they *were* falling into each other. The dream was coming true, and it did feel good.

Good enough to last a lifetime.

-End-

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