Sometimes When We
Touch
Sitting in my aisle seat
in the coach section of the East bound jetliner, I glanced again at my watch
and wondered if I was already too late.
It had taken me a week
to get both the courage and the money to put my butt on this plane headed for
Florida to seek out the reason for the confusion and anguish that suffused my
being. As well as the continued reason for my existence, no matter what that
damn letter said. The Kimberly I knew, who I had just seen at Christmas
couldn't have sent a cold, mechanical letter breaking off our relationship and
undermining our past.
It just wasn't in her.
But then, who was I to
question how she felt? Over the last seven days, I had stubbornly tried to
piece together what the hell had happened. And what I kept coming up with
disturbed me more than I would ever tell even Jason, my closest friend.
I wasn't the victim
here. I had been an active participant. Actually, to get it right, I had been a
non-active non-participant. So had the rest of the team. I had turned to Adam,
Kat, Rocky and even Tanya and asked them point blank, admittedly after a day or
so when my sulking had ended and my mind began working again, who had talked to
Kim last. The answer to that came in blank looks and glances around the group,
looking for someone with an answer.
Seems that no one had
called, written or visited Kim since she headed back to Coach Schmidt's
training facility in Florida after Christmas.
And I have to admit, I
was as guilty as everyone else.
My correspondence skills
are shitty. I knew that, as did Kim and the rest of the team, so I'd promised
Kim I'd call. But saving Angel Grove, the world and the universe on what seemed
a daily basis always ended up making me too exhausted to call when I would get
home, or too busy when I thought of it. Or, even God help me, I just forgot her
altogether.
With a sigh at
remembering my complicity at my relationship's demise, I notice I've been
staring at the blue fabric and white plastic backing the seat in front of me.
Reaching forward, I grab hold of my drink, ginger ale with ice in one of those
little plastic tumblers. I take a long swallow and set it back down in the
circular indent on the extended tray jutting from the seat before me. Part of
me really wished I was of legal drinking age. Some hard liquor would have been
more comforting, and helped steel my conviction in seeing her in person. I
could have called, but it wasn't the same. I needed to see her.
Truth be told, I really
haven't thought twice about this. Once I pulled myself out of the nearly
mind-numbing disbelief and hurt the words in her letter had created within me,
I immediately started to think like a leader and a man who had spent three
years with this woman, whom I still love.
Yes, even now I love
her. Why would I be on a plane headed to Florida if I didn't?
Because I know the woman
that left Angel Grove after Christmas would never write me out of her life like
that. A brother? Not unless her family practiced incest... ugh Tommy, bad image.
Let's not go there.
So, after talking with
everyone, I convinced my mom and dad that I needed to go out and see her. I had
mom help me find a reasonably cheap airfare, and somehow got them to let me
raid my college fund. It wasn't easy, since no one, even me, was sure when I
could put it back. But now, sitting in my seat, halfway to Florida with a grand
in traveler's checks in my wallet, I feel prepared to figure out what the hell
is going on.
My return flight is in
three days. Mom and dad thought I could be back the following day. Dad had said
straight out that if Kim had dumped me, all I needed to do was see her, ask her
what happened and turn around and come home. It took a while to explain to them
that I had no intention of just looking into her eyes, hearing her voice and
just accepting things. I was planning on fighting for Kim. I wasn't going to
come back without either truly understanding why she had broken up with me or I
had her back.
I've been through more
in the last three years of my life than I ever imagined. I've been used and
hurt, first by Rita and then by Zedd. Then I dealt with the loss of my powers.
And now for nearly two years, I have had to make the tough decisions that being
the Ranger's leader requires. For me to just blithely accept this devastating
loss without putting up some kind of resistance, some kind of persuasive
argument just isn't going to happen. And Kim should know that about me.
Giving up isn't in my
nature.
Sure, I sulk, and feel
guilty and want to give up. But I never do.
Of course, the phone
call to Jase asking his opinion was the best use of thirty bucks I've ever
spent. He was as surprised as I was, and he, Trini and Zack all agreed that
this wasn't at all like Kim. And even if I didn't know that, for the length of
time they had known her, they should.
A clatter and continuous
squeak moving towards the back of the plane alert me to the flight attendant
pushing the refreshment cart down the aisle. Quickly, I pull my feet out of the
way so she can pass.
"Can I get you some
more to drink?" the pleasant looking blonde stewardess asked, staring at
me a bit too long for my liking.
Sure, I know I'm
considered handsome. Even traveling in this cramped metal plane, I figure I
still look okay - my long dark brown hair was still in its ponytail, and I'm
wearing what I normally do; a tight red short sleeved t-shirt, black jeans and
boots. It gets me the attention of women on the ground, so I guess I can't be
surprised that it got the attention of the flight attendant.
Except usually I can
walk away and ignore it if some woman at the Youth Center or at school tried to
come onto me. Trapped like this, there isn't much I can do but smile pleasantly
and brush her off in some agreeable manner.
"No, thanks, I
think I'm good."
"Let me know if you
change your mind."
I nod, and she moves on
to my neighbor, who's trying to not noticeably salivate as he stares at her
breasts. I'd noticed too, but they're not Kim's, so I don't even linger for
more than a second.
She reaches over me and
passes the businessman beside me a can of V-8 and then moves on. I let loose a
quiet sigh and reach again for the mostly filled ginger ale. It's cold going
down my throat, and I close my eyes, willing this damn flight to be over.
-------------------
As soon as the wheels of
the plane had hit the tarmac, I was ready to jump up, grab my one duffel bag
and find the taxi stand. I was really hating the fact that being under 25 and
without a credit card I couldn't rent a car, but then I had never been to
Miami, so I wouldn't have known where I was going anyway.
It was another long
fifteen minutes as we pulled up to the gate and slowly disembarked. I hurriedly
walked along with the other people on the plane, watching as they met friends
and family at the terminal. Passing by a couple oblivious to everyone but each
other, I felt my heart ache and my feet sped up.
The airport flew by in a
blur of gray walls and multi-colored people as I rushed to the exits. It wasn't
until I was outside, breathing the Florida air that I noticed that it was
already after dark. I'd forgotten about the time difference. I'd left Angel
Grove at 11a.m., and it was a three hour time difference on top of a five hour
flight. I thought about finding a cab, not checking into the motel that I'd
booked and having him drive me directly to Coach Schmidt's training facility.
Then I reined in my
enthusiasm and realized that if I showed up at nearly 8 p.m. in the evening,
someone might think I was a stalker and call the police. That wasn't the first
impression I wanted to give Kim after two months apart, and the letter. So I
walked to the curb and flagged down an unruly looking Hispanic driver in a
white and red taxi. Opening the door, I threw my duffel across the back seat
and followed it with a slam of the door.
"Holiday Inn,"
I announced.
"West Miami, South
Beach or downtown?" my driver asked, and I looked at him in the rear-view
mirror with befuddlement.
Shit. I grabbed my bag
and dug through the side pocket for the confirmation my mom made me take. I
handed him the page and he nodded as he handed it back.
"Never been to
Miami?"
"First time,"
I replied as I tried unsuccessfully to relax into the vinyl seating.
"Business or
pleasure?" he asked, quickly making the turn out of the airport and onto
the nearby freeway onramp.
"I'm not
sure."
Looking up, I saw him
give me a quizzical look in the mirror, and then shrug. We settled into silence
as we drove to my motel, and a few more miles closer to my inevitable meeting
with Kim.
-------------------
It was ten in the
morning when I woke up in my bed at the motel. I hadn't realized the time
difference and the jet lag was going to do me in so much. I'd thought about
asking for a wake-up call when I checked in last night, but I forgot. What else
is new.
Quickly, I tossed aside
the dark blue paisley patterned comforter and headed for the shower. The hot
water did its work in waking me up, and I quickly moved through my routine. One
of the white fluffy hotel towels did its work on my body, and followed up with
doing its best to dry my hair. There were days when I really wanted to follow
the crowds and buzz it down with some gelled spikes, but it just wasn't for me
at the moment. And Kim would never forgive me for mucking with what she has
always considered one of my best features.
Still, there's times
like now, standing in front of the mirror using the travel-size hair dryer to
dry my hair that I think that maybe she could forgive me. And there's that
issue of getting it under my helmet on a daily basis.
Sighing, I finish the
job, pulling the dry, straight locks into my trademark ponytail and move onto
brushing my teeth. Once I'm minty fresh, I chuck the towel and pad into the
main part of my room to dress.
I made a point to bring
with me the clothes that always ended up making Kim stare at me a bit longer
than she'd like me or anyone else know. Once I realized what made her breathe a
little faster, I made sure I wore it on a regular basis. Sure, I know it sounds
childish, but then Kim seemed to always wear what I couldn't resist as well, so
we're equally guilty of trying to deliberately drive the other insane.
Such is my intention
today. Besides, if my luck still holds, maybe Kim will be so stunned by my
rugged good looks that she'll just fall in my arms, or at least offer up a good
explanation why this all happened, rather than me having to drag it out of her.
Hey, you never know.
I don't wear most of
these anymore, not since the team got our Zeo powers, and I'm now no longer the
White Ranger. But Kim wouldn't recognize me in red, so I pull on a white tank
top and then a white button-up long sleeved shirt with the cuffs rolled up over
it. I slip into some jockey shorts and then my *only* concession to my status -
red socks, then pull on the black jeans and the heavy boots I wore in on the
plane.
Once everything's in
place, I head back to the mirror in the bathroom and make sure I look
presentable. I turn back to the desk near the bed and pick up my wallet, taking
note of the traveler's checks and no ready currency. I need to get the front
desk clerk to cash some of them for me, so I don't have to hunt down a travel
agency or bank. I used up my last couple of twenties on the cab ride over last
night, and I doubt that any cab driver in Miami would want to take these over
cold cash.
Of course, next to all
those multi-colored checks is my last letter from Kim. I folded it enough times
to slide it into my bi-fold. I wanted it with me, so I could set it in front of
her and ask her exactly what each sentence meant. Why she wrote these things.
Ask for proof.
Along with it is the
address for my destination of the day, Coach Schmidt's training facility. With
a shove, I pack away my wallet, and get up, snatching the card key for the room
on my way out.
The door shuts behind me
and I start down the clean white hallway, passing the other wood doors along
the corridor. It doesn't take long before I'm standing before the check-in
desk, where a stunning Asian woman with short cut hair and bright red lipstick looks
over the counter at me. She smiles and the only thing I can think of is that I
wish Trini had told me something more useful about her last telephone
conversation with Kim right after New Year's.
"Can I help you
sir?" the clerk asks, her attention firmly situated on me.
"I need to cash
some traveler's checks, and get a cab," I reply, digging into my back
pocket for my wallet and about three hundred dollars in checks.
"Certainly. Is
there anything else I can do?"
The question is simple
enough, but my answer wouldn't be. Can you get my girlfriend back for me? Can
you tell me how I screwed up the most important thing in my life so badly? Can
you fix my life?
I don't say any of those
things, but simply sign the check backs the hand them to her, replying,
"no, thanks."
Turning to the cash
drawer, she pulls out the cash, conveniently in twenties and hands them to me.
"There are taxis at
the door on your way out. Have a nice day sir."
I nod and turn away,
slowing as I pass a mostly empty table set up with the hotel's complementary
continental breakfast. I snag a glass of juice and an apple Danish and keep
moving for the front exit. As I walk into the bright Miami day, I see maybe
three yellow cabs parked outside, waiting to take businessmen and tourists alike
around the city. Quickly moving forward, I climb into the closest one, still
eating. It is helmed by a Rastafarian-type African American man who happily
smiles my way.
"Where yah be going
this fine day?" he asks in what I guess is a Jamaican accent.
Without replying, I hand
him the address for the training facility as I juggle the juice in one hand and
leave the pastry in my mouth.
"Sure now, let's be
off then."
And we pull away from
the motel and onto the city streets headed towards the gym and Kim.
-------------------
I stood before the
cement warehouse structure on the edge of the University of Miami complex for
probably ten minutes before I forced one foot in front of the other, propelling
me closer to the doors. If I hadn't known any better, I wouldn't have realized
that within this simple structure, women were training hard to be better
athletes and win gold medals.
I was really starting to
wish that we'd never ever heard of Coach Schmidt or thought of the Pan Globals.
If we hadn't, things would be like they should be and how I wanted them to be
again.
I hadn't spoken to
Zordon of this before I left, or anyone else for that matter. But part of me
wanted to convince Kim to come back to Angel Grove. Perhaps we could find
another power source, bring her back to the team. We'd done it before, when I
lost my Green Ranger powers, Zordon found a way to bring me back. Why not Kim?
Since she's been gone
I've felt this gaping hole in myself, and not just personally. I never realized
just how much I relied on her when I was the White Ranger, newly appointed
leader of the Power Rangers. She was there to support me and ground me. Since
she left, its as if I'm not the same leader I used to be. Not as sure or
strong.
And while I know I don't
have control of the future, some small part of me worries that I might very
well make a mistake that will cost one of my teammate's lives if I don't get
back that missing part of myself. The part that is inside this gym.
Stopping at the door, I
held the metal latch tight in my grip as I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
The first order of business was to see Kim and talk this whole thing through.
Once that was done, then I can start thinking about our future, if I can prove
to Kim we really have one.
I yanked the heavy door
open and strode into the facility. It looked like a gym, just with a lot more
space. I walked along the bare concrete corridor past the locker room, and then
further until I hit what I would have to say was the guard station. To my left
was an office with wire-reinforced glass. In front of me was the ramp going
down to what sounded like the main training area. Before I could get one foot
onto that ramp, I heard a sharp voice snap from within the office.
"And where do you
think you're going sir?"
Spinning towards the
voice, I tentatively move in the direction of the open door of the office.
Behind an old steel desk, a heavy-set African American woman sat, leaning
forward over stacks of papers, file folders and glossy photos. Behind her, a
fairly new computer with a printer and fax sat on a similar desk.
She stares at me,
reaching up to adjust a pair of wire rimmed glasses, tilting them down over her
nose so she can see me over them. I feel like I've been caught without my
homework by Ms. Applebee, and force a lump out of my throat. If there's any
possibility of me not seeing Kim, this woman will most likely be it.
"I'm here to see
one of the athletes practicing at this facility," I announce with my
leader's voice, tinged with a little more apprehension than I would have liked.
Suddenly, her entire
demeanor changes, and she smiles at me with a genuinely pleased expression.
Turning back to the other desk, she yanks open a desk drawer with a grating
sound and hauls out a binder sized book. She swivels back to me and drops the
book with a thud on the paper covered surface of her desk.
"I was starting to
think I wasn't going to get to use this thing this month," she states
brightly, opening the worn blue cover, and flipping in about halfway into the
volume. "The coach has such stringent rules, and the girls are always so
focused, we rarely get visitors."
For a moment, I feel
dizzy and sick to my stomach. Rules about visitors? Families rarely seeing
their daughters? I suppressed a shudder at the thought and returned my
attention to the woman who seemed more than happy to help me see Kim.
"So, who are you
here to see?"
"Kimberly
Hart," I replied, her name falling from my lips with the unconscious
caress I had always said it with.
"Oh, she's such a
nice girl," the woman said, turning ten or so more pages, but in the
opposite direction. "She's been here without fail since after
Christmas."
I leaned over the desk a
bit and saw what seemed to be Kim's attendance chart. I could see the days when
she had been in Angel Grove at Christmas marked with large red X's, while the
days following up through today had simple green checks. She turned Kim's page
over and started looking at it.
"Are you Tommy
Oliver?" she asked suddenly, and I straightened up again with a little
shock.
"Yes, how
did..." I started to ask, then stopped as I tried to figure out why she
would ask.
"You're the one
visitor listed for visits."
"Excuse me?"
The woman looked at me
with surprise, and then her smiling face degenerated to a look of pity and
frustration. Sighing, she shook her head and snatched a pen out of an Olympic
Team mug.
"All the girls here
are only allowed to put one name on their visitor list. Most have their mom or
dad listed. Seems that you're the person Kim listed as her visitor."
For the second time in
less than ten minutes I felt the floor falling out beneath me. They were only
allowed to have one visitor. And Kim had chosen me. Sure, Kim's mom was in
Paris, and her dad always seemed remote, but to pick me over one of them was
staggering. Yet I had never been here before today, which meant no one outside
of this gym had seen Kim since Christmas. The thought made my blood go cold.
"It'll be nice for
her to have someone visiting. Maybe it will help cheer her up. She's been sort
of depressed for the last week or so. Would you sign here?"
She shoved the book
towards me along with the pen. I could see that the back side of Kim's page had
an empty visitor registry, where I was to fill in my name and the date of the
visit. As well as the time I arrived and left. I was getting a very bad feeling
from all this and I knew that this kind woman had my answers, if I could only
get them from her. I signed in and decided to make some idle chit-chat before
easing into the questions I really wanted the answer to.
"No problem. I'm
sorry, I didn't get your name."
"Adelle. Sorry
about that, I'm not used to seeing people around here that don't know who I am.
All the coaches and the girls know me, and I forget that the visitors have
usually only met the coach."
"Adelle, that's a
nice name. How long have you been working for Coach Schmidt?" I asked
politely, feigning interest as I worked to gain her confidence.
"Oh, about fifteen
years. I've seen it all, I swear," she laughed robustly, waving her hand
towards the only other chair in the room on my side of the desk in invitation.
"Every four years it's a new batch of girls. Of course, there's rarely
exceptions like your Miss Hart, coming in during the middle of a cycle of
training. But the coach seemed to think she had potential, even though at this
point in training it doesn't seem like he thinks that about anyone."
"Really?" I
ask with growing curiosity.
"It's tough. I
remember my first year with the team. I was so shocked at the visiting policy.
Then there was the yelling and punishments. I was just about to resign when the
coach sat me down and assured me that the girls were fine, that they knew what
they were getting into and that they had to work hard if they wanted to achieve
their goals. So I've been here ever since, making sure that they get into
practice and get back to their rooms on time."
I hoped that my jaw
hadn't physically dropped at Adelle's announcement. I know that I wasn't aware
of any of these rules before Kim agreed to join Coach Schmidt's training, and I
don't think she was either. Sure, we both knew she was going to have to work
hard, but this sounded absolutely boot camp like. And with limited visitor
privileges, it had to make the experience even more grueling. I was really not
liking this at all.
"But you didn't
come to listen to me prattle on," Adelle acknowledged with a smile.
"Now just go down that ramp and you'll find your little girl with the rest
of the team."
For a moment, I almost
wanted to reply that no matter her size, Kimberly could never be called a
'little girl', but I simply waved my thanks and headed out the office door and
down to the workout area of the gymnasium. At the bottom of the ramp, I looked
around and saw two groups of six gymnasts. Half were on the opposite side of
the room working with a few of Coach Schmidt's assistants on the parallel bars,
but I could tell that Kim wasn't with them. I walked along the wall to my right
to where the second group was working on the balance beam with Coach Schmidt
himself. I first scanned the group for her trademark pink, but couldn't find
it. Then my eyes settled on that caramel colored hair that I still saw in my
dreams and could remember the smell of from every time I had held her to my
chest and nestled my face into it.
She was in a folding
chair with a white towel wrapped around her neck. Four other women were with
her, all watching the performance of a fifth teammate, as the sixth walked back
to a chair behind Kim in the second row of seats.
Not wanting to distract
the gymnast on the beam, I took a seat in the back row of chairs, five rows
back and probably a good six feet from Kim and watched her interact with her
teammates. I couldn't see as well as I would have liked, but I watched her head
nod or shake from side to side every once in a while. It was strange, her hair
was bound in a tight French braid, more strict than I'd ever seen it. But then,
if she was working as hard as Adelle seemed to make out, her hair was probably
something she, like the others needed to restrain as best as possible.
Unconsciously, I ran a
hand over my own ponytail, and thought again of shorter locks. I was glad Kim
hadn't gone as far as her nearby neighbor, who sported a blond bob that rivaled
Mary Lou Retton's.
Before I realized it,
the young woman who had just been performing had vaulted off the beam and was
now standing before Coach Schmidt, receiving some pointers. Then a flash of
brown brought my attention back to Kim, and I saw her stand and shrug aside the
towel.
My breath caught in my
throat and I swear my eyes started to tear. My Kim looked like she was starving
herself. Gone was her usual cheerful pink, she now wore a black leotard that
emphasized her thinness. Sure, Kim had always been petite, but now she was nearly
rail thin. Without turning back towards my position, she moved towards the beam
and prepared to start her routine.
The first thing that
struck me was how slow she seemed to be moving. As she ran to the jump, to
launch herself onto the beam, I could see how much her legs seemed to shake
from the activity. Thinking back, I had to say that when she had been home at
Christmas, I hadn't seen her in anything where I could have noticed her
thinness. With the winter weather, we all were pretty well covered, and when we
had held each other, there had always seemed to be a jacket or sweater or two
between us, so I never got a full gauge as to her weight loss. But it was
obvious that it had been going on for quite some time for her to be so
lethargic.
Once she was on the
beam, I could see extended glimpses of the energy I knew was inside the Kim I
had encouraged to come to Florida to chase her dreams. But most of the time, I
saw a woman who seemed to be pushed beyond her limits, exhausted by what she
could do without fail before. As she made one complicated turn on the four inch
wide beam, I felt my heart constrict as her toes slid from their position and
the ball of her right foot followed them, slipping off the wooden apparatus.
Quickly she fought to save herself, and was able to end up with her ass landing
hard on the beam, rather than taking a tumble to the mat below.
I tore my gaze from Kim
for a brief second to check the coach's reaction. The dark glare I saw him
giving Kim began to solidify my suspicions. He'd been working her to
exhaustion, and now that she was making mistakes, he was angry with her.
Finally, Kim vaulted off
the beam and landed with a slight bobble. Then she slowly turned towards Coach
Schmidt and almost resignedly walked to stand before him. I couldn't stay put
any longer, so I stood and was just about to make my move to get closer to the
front set of seats where I hoped to hear the coach's comments.
I shouldn't have worried
about not being able to hear. As soon as Coach Schmidt's mouth opened, a roar
of sound engulfed the surrounding area and I froze.
"Miss Hart, if you
continue to consistently fail in improving this routine, you might as well just
pack your bags and go home to that nowhere where I plucked you from! You're
obviously lacking the desire to be a world class athlete, as well as the
skills."
I watched as Kim's head
dropped forward to rest on her chest. She would never have taken that kind of
verbal abuse without a biting retort, or even a joke. Yet now, she seemed
defeated, and she seemed to believe Coach Schmidt's words.
"I understand. I'll
do better."
The coach simply nodded
his head and turned towards the next gymnast that was warming up in preparation
to starting her routine. Kim moved back to her chair, where she draped the
towel back around her neck and grabbed a bottle of water from the floor beside
it. As she stood back up, she faced the wall I was standing in front of, and I
saw her eyes shake off their detachment as she focused on my form. When her
gaze finally reached my face, the look that resided on hers was one of shock,
fear and almost relief.
For a moment, I thought
she was going to drop the water bottle in her hand as her whole body started to
tremble noticeably. The other women in her group turned towards her, noting her
paralysis, and then all eyes seemed to be on me, including Coach Schmidt's.
This was it, I thought
as I forced myself down the row of chairs and then walked up to the front row
and strode towards Kim and Coach Schmidt. As I passed in front of the other
gymnasts, who all seemed to be following my every move, I felt like the
confrontation I'd been expecting with Kim had been shifted to Coach Schmidt.
As soon as I was within
a few feet of Kim, I began slowing my pace. I needed to look at her before I
went and talked to the coach. Rather than stop right in front of her, I paused
beside her, our heads tilted slightly towards one another. When her brown eyes
met mine, I felt the spark that I had been so afraid wouldn't be there flare
between us. From the moment I had set eyes on her inside this building, she
hadn't looked alive until right this second. I was sure I could see some of her
strength seep back into her with just my presence.
And the love... well,
unless I was reading too much into the look in her eyes, I could swear that it
was there too.
Quickly, I brushed her
hand with mine as I refocused on the task at hand and approached Coach Schmidt.
The kind, grandfatherly man I'd met in Angel Grove seemed buried beneath a
tough, unyielding taskmaster. But I'd taken on evil in more forms than I could
count. This altercation couldn't even come close to any of my experiences as a
Ranger. He'd never know what hit him.
"Coach Schmidt,
it's good to see you again. You remember me, Tommy Oliver from Angel
Grove?" I started out, holding my hand out to shake his, hopefully
catching him off guard. "I came out to see Kim. You don't mind if I borrow
her for a bit, seeing as how she just finished her routine?"
Coach Schmidt took my
hand and shook it firmly, his face relaxing a bit. I guess he did remember me.
I braced myself for the rejection to my plea to get some time with Kim, but I
was again surprised at what seemed a resigned look cross his face.
"Perhaps that would
be a good idea. Kimberly has been working very hard as of late. Maybe some
distraction will help her regain her focus and improve her performance. Please,
feel free to visit with her. But be sure to check with Adelle on your way out
Mr. Oliver."
Something in what he'd
just said set off my internal alarm bells, but I wasn't quite sure if I
understood him right. Did he expect me to visit with Kim here, in the building,
and then sign out on my way, alone, out of here? If he was suggesting that,
then he was insane. As it was, I was fighting the urge to just hoist Kim over
my shoulder and run out of the building, not stopping until we were on a plane
headed home.
"I'll make sure I
see Adelle when I finish my visit," I replied as vaguely as possible.
Without another word,
Coach Schmidt turned back to the other gymnasts, who had watched the entire
proceedings, and yelled, "Alright, back to work!"
Now that I had the
coach's permission, I felt both free and nervous at once. Nothing stood between
my talking with Kim, and it scared me to death. If I had been wrong about what
I'd seen, then this was going to be more difficult than I thought.
Turning slowly, I found
her standing there, watching me with a look of surprise, nervousness and
anticipation. It immediately made me want to wrap her in my embrace and never
let go, so I started to her. Within a few quick strides, I was standing before
her, looking down into those eyes that I loved so much. I put my hand on her
shoulder, and waited to see if she was going to flinch or ask me to move it.
Instead, I swear to God the temperature of her skin through her leotard seemed
to soar where my hand sat.
Another guy my ass.
"How about we get
out of here Beautiful?" I asked in my best velvet-toned voice.
Kim didn't reply. She
just tentatively nodded her head, reached her hand across herself and placed
her hand over mine. As I looked at her with a growing smile on my face, I saw a
matching one curve her sweet lips.
Even though I hated to
do it, I lifted my hand from her shoulder. Her hand fell from mine and I reached
to take it and to walk her off the practice floor, away from the numerous sets
of staring eyes. When my fingers curled around her smaller ones, I felt as if I
was home again. Then I felt my own hand being squeezed by Kim's with more
strength than I would have given her credit for having just 20 minutes earlier.
Once I'd realized that
was my cue to move, we both slowly headed for the ramp and up towards Adelle's
office. I wasn't sure what was my next step - take Kim out of the building and
only sign out when we returned, sign out now and see Kim 'off the books' or
what. So I realized we'd have to ask when we stopped in the office.
With a hand to the small
of her back, I ushered Kim inside Adelle's office. As we crossed the threshold,
Kim looked around before looking to Adelle. I thought it strange, but then
assumed that unless you had a visitor, the gymnasts never had a reason to come
in here.
"Hi Adelle,"
Kim said, waving at the woman who turned from the computer screen and smiled.
"Hello Kimberly. I
see your young man found you alright."
At that, I wanted to
blush, but it was true. At least I hoped it was still true.
"He did, thank
you."
Kim glanced up at me
now, taking the initiative for the first time since I'd arrived to look me in
the eye. What showed in her gaze was just as powerful as it ever was. I was
starting to no longer doubt that Kim was still mine, no matter what her letter
had said.
"So, what do we do
now?" I asked, not breaking away from Kim's eyes, not sure exactly whom I
was asking the question of.
Barely polite laughter
broke the spell that seemed to be settling in on Kim and I, just like every
time that we found time together 'alone'. We both whipped our heads towards
Adelle, who was both smiling and laughing at the picture that we must have
presented her. I knew Kim must be blushing, because I certainly was.
"I think you two
know exactly what to do," she smirked at us.
"I meant regarding
my visiting privileges," I remarked dryly, feeling a bit uncomfortable at
this woman's outspoken manner.
"No offense meant
there young man. I simply think you have a lot of catchin' up to do. So how
about you sign out when you and Miss Kimberly come back?"
I turned my head towards
Kim and saw a flash of fear. The thought of coming back seemed to scare her as
much as leaving her behind did me.
"What if I don't
bring her back?" I suggested with an off-hand flippancy that I didn't
feel, looking at Adelle to gauge her reaction to my words.
"Then make sure you
two stop off at the dorms and get Kim's things," she said with a
seriousness that I wouldn't have expected from her. "Don't think that
Coach Schmidt is going to be lenient in regards to curfews just because you've
got a visitor Kimberly. If you don't come back to the dorm by 7pm,he'll just
as soon kick you out of the training
program as look at you."
Beside me, I could feel
the waves of indecision rolling of Kim. This was a new twist to my plan to get
the truth from her about what was going on, and why she'd sent the break up
letter. But I never thought my just being here would take the decision of her
staying on track with her Pan Global training out of her hands altogether.
"We'll deal with
that later," said Kim authoritatively.
Then she turned and left
me behind as she walked to the Women's locker room.
-------------------
It had taken maybe
twenty minutes for Kim to shower and change into a pair of blue jean overall
shorts, a pair of white tennis shoes and socks and a pink crop top that I think
she hadn't worn in a while. As soon as
she reappeared in Adelle's office, I had her hand in mine and we were
out the door and into the fresh Miami air.
"So, how about some
lunch somewhere we can talk?" I asked finally, needing to get out that one
unspoken issue of discussing what was going on.
I watched her start to
open her mouth to decline the lunch part. She probably was planning on saying
something about she couldn't put on any more weight, but I stopped her short of
saying it.
"No, you need a
decent meal Kim. If the coach throws a fit, we'll deal with it. But for now,
just humor me and let me take you to lunch?"
Reluctantly, Kim nodded
her head, as if in acceptance that she had to eat, as well as the fact that we
had to talk about what was going on sooner or latter. As it was, my being here
seemed like it was going to cause her problems with her training, and I had yet
to find out whether she wanted me here or at all, and it was starting to weigh
on me.
"Where can I find a
cab around here?"
Startled, Kim looked up
at me with a puzzled expression. I don't think she figured I wasn't going to
just walk across the street to the local deli and buy her a salad or sandwich.
Once I'd asked about the taxi, she knew something was up.
"About a block
down. The University usually gets some traffic
this time of day. I'm
sure it won't be that hard. If we need
to, the Student Union
could call us one."
"Good, let's go
then."
With that, we walked
slowly hand in hand along the sidewalk, watching as vehicles and bicycles
passed us by in the ever increasing cloudiness of the Miami day. I'd heard that
the weather patterns could be a little crazy, but this was starting to make me
worry. I was just about to put Kim under an overhang that we'd just passed and
make a run for the Student Union when a yellow cab turned the corner and headed
our way.
"Taxi!"
It slowed at the curb
and I released Kim's hand to usher her into the back seat. Clambering in beside
her, I look at the Middle Eastern man at the helm of the taxi and try to make a
split decision on what to do. Slamming the door, I look to Kim and realize that
this needs to be light and easy if I want to get the truth out of her without
her stalling me.
So lunch first, then
tough questions.
"Hard Rock Café
please," I tell the driver.
Kim turns a shocked look
my way as the cab pulls out onto the road and speeds off to its destination. I
think I surprised her. The fact that we've rarely been anywhere like a Hard
Rock Café in our entire relationship is more than likely the cause for her
astonishment. I want this whole thing to be special. And from what I can see,
its been a tough couple of months since we saw each other last, and I think she
can use it.
"Tommy, you don't
need to do this to impress me," she says as we pass palm trees that are
swaying with a recently kicked up breeze.
"Impress you?"
I repeated dumbly. "You think I'm trying to impress you?"
"Well, I
thought..."
"Kim, look,
whatever you're thinking, don't. You've been training really hard the last
couple months, and you need some fun. That's all. If you're thinking this is
about the letter, don't. We'll deal with that later. For now, let's just have a
good time, ok?"
"Alright."
At that, I pulled her
into my side and her head found its place against my chest and all was right
with my world.
-------------------
We'd made simple small
talk over lunch. I ordered as many things that I could remember which were
Kim's favorites, much to her delight and chagrin. Listening to her complain how
the fried cheese sticks were going to go straight to her thighs made me laugh,
and when the chocolate brownie with ice cream and chocolate syrup appeared
after her salad, she shot me a death glare that I had missed more than I had
realized.
She asked about the
team, and I told her about our new Zeo powers, since no one else had. I
explained why Billy and Aisha hadn't been in touch, and our whole childhood
regression thing. Watching her silently mourn the passing of our Ninjetti
powers in favor of Zeo brought out a similar feeling in me that I didn't
realize I felt.
I asked about life in
Florida in general, not her training and got a lot of vague answers. When I
asked about her mom and dad, I found that Mrs. Dumas called on a fairly regular
basis, and was always asking how she was improving and what her chances were of
making the team. It was a bit disturbing to think that Kim didn't say that her
mom asked how she was and ask if she wanted to visit.
Still, our lunch was
pleasant and light. The weight of training, her future with the program, our
relationship or even the fate of the world was put on hold for a whole glorious
hour and a half as we ate and talked.
When we'd finished, I
paid the bill, but I still had no decision on what to do about the more
difficult conversation I'd been postponing. We needed to discuss the letter and
her training, but I wanted to do it somewhere quiet.
Did I dare...
"Let's go."
I moved to her chair and
pulled it out as she got up. Then we headed for the exit where I found a nice
tropical storm had arrived without my knowledge. There went any chance of a
walk in a park somewhere to make her feel as if she could get up and leave if
she needed to. Instead, it left me with very few options.
"Kim, we need to
talk," I began, trying not to stutter as the one thought I was most afraid
of tried to force its way out of my mouth.
"I know," she
replied nervously.
"Would you, I mean,
would it be okay if we went back to my motel? That way we can talk
privately."
I watched as she sucked
in a deep breath and held it. It seemed like every emotion flashed for a moment
in her eyes before she let her breath out in a slow exhale.
"Okay."
Part of me was stunned,
another terrified. I think the next twenty minutes went by in a blur as we got
a cab and drove back to the Holiday Inn where I was staying. We were silent the
whole time, even up until I opened up the door to my room and ushered Kim in
before me. As the door shut and locked behind me, I think both of us realized
that there was no going back for either of us, in more ways than one.
Kim sat at the head of
my bed, tucking her knees up and to the side as she slipped one of the pillows
from the bedspread and hugged it to her. If I was any other man, I would have
thought she was afraid of me with that pose. Yet I caught her cease watching me
for a moment as she closed her eyes while she took a quick smell of the pillow.
It probably didn't smell like I'd been sleeping on it, but it seemed to make
her shiver anyway.
I figured I'd give both
of us some space, and sat at the end of the bed, my right leg tucked almost
under me so I could face her. My fingers ended up drawing circles on he
bedspread as I waited to see if she'd start. When she didn't, I though perhaps
I could break the ice with just speaking her name.
"Kimberly?"
Her eyes caught mine and
held my gaze, unspoken things flashing between us that had never needed to be
stated or explained before now. Unfortunately, too many of those things were
being questioned by both of us to let us simply assume nothing has changed.
"Do you want some
water?" I asked, stalling for more time as I hoped she would offer her own
sins before I had to expose mine.
Kim shook her head.
"Maybe later."
Unconsciously, my hand
went to my hair and my fingers raked through the strands at my temple. After a
minute or two, I sighed and realized I would have to begin this discussion with
my own faults, and I was terrified at the prospect of it.
"I know I didn't
call you like I promised," I began tentatively, hating myself as I began
to take my fair share of the blame in the failure of our relationship.
"It's not your
fault," Kim suddenly burst out, her fingers tightening on the pillow.
"And it's not what you think."
"What do I
think?"
"That you neglected
me. And because of it that I found someone else."
"Didn't you?"
I counter, my heart thudding in my chest as I await her reply.
There's silence for a
long while, and I watch Kim fight off the start of tears. She pulls away one of
her hands from the pillow and wipes angrily at her eyes. Then she turns those soft
brown pools on me and looks me dead in the eyes.
"No."
I think my heart just
stopped and started again in the span of three seconds. She lied to me. The
letter was a lie, and she never found someone else. But it doesn't mean she
still wants me. Today, since we've been together, I have been sure that she
still loves me, but there's no way to truly know until she confirms it. So I
have to ask.
"Do you still love
me?"
The nervous look on her
face melts into a bright smile that I remember from a long time ago standing by
the lake in Angel Grove Park. Without thinking, I reach over and grab the hand that
isn't holding the pillow and feel the wave of history sweep through us both.
"Yes."
"Me too," I
reply with a smile and yank on her arm, pulling her across the bed until she
sits before me. "I miss you."
I glance down at her and
see that she's smirking at me, and that she's tossed the pillow to the floor.
Her free hand has landed on my left thigh and I'm starting to think that maybe we
should have braved the weather outside. It would be a lot less dangerous than
being alone with Kimberly in my room.
"I miss you
too."
More than anything, all
I want to do is just kiss her until we're delirious with oxygen deprivation and
to hell with answers. Except this one big question that continues to scream in
my head refuses to go away so easily.
"Why did you send
the letter then?"
Her head drops so her
eyes don't have to meet mine. As much as I want to give her space to reply, I
need to see the answer in her eyes as much as I need to hear it. I reach my
free hand under her chin and raise her face to mine. Tears now glitter at her
lashes, and I know that the truth of what happened is painful for her, so I'll
let her take her time. After a little while, she lifts her hand to my cheek and
softly caresses my skim before she pulls it away to wipe at the seeping liquid that
is starting to escape her lids.
"I didn't have a
choice."
"What?" I say,
my voice sounding harsher than I meant. Kim cringes and I jump to temper my
words. "I mean, why didn't you have a choice?"
"After Christmas,
things were fine. But unlike a lot of the other girls, I still had strong ties
to you, the team, Angel Grove... the coach thought it would be better for all
of the athletes to live, sleep and breathe gymnastics. To the exclusion of our
families and friends."
"I don't
understand."
"Neither did I
until late last month. Coach said we were now at the next phase of training and
we were expected to work harder. Our meals were cut and the weigh-ins that had
been weekly were now daily. I was probably five pounds under my 'normal'
weight, but I was still five pounds over what I was told I had to be to
continue. The stress started to get to me, and I tried to call Aisha and Billy
and you, and I couldn't reach any of you."
Kim swallowed hard, and
I felt an answering knot in my own throat. Maybe if I had called here, none of
this ever would have happened. I felt Kim shudder beneath my touch and I knew that
the worst was still to come.
"I started to make
mistakes in practice. I was so depressed, and with the weight loss, I just
wasn't cutting it. So Coach Schmidt took me aside and asked what was going on.
Stupidly, I said I was having problems concentrating because I couldn't reach
you. So, he convinced me that it was probably best if I let you go, so I could
better focus on the training."
I sat there in shock.
Kim had broken up with me because Coach Schmidt had suggested it? The look on
my face must have conveyed my thoughts as Kim tightened her grasp on our joined
hands.
"I wasn't thinking
clearly Tommy. There was no one to turn to, no one to support my relationship
with you, to make me realize what I would be sacrificing. I was so blinded by
Coach Schmidt's promises that I really thought he was trying to help me."
"Now you think he
wasn't?"
"Maybe, I'm not
sure. But all my sending you that letter did was make me feel worse. The fall
you saw me take today on the balance beam... that hasn't been the worst."
My hands flew from their
previous positions to take her shoulders as panic started to attack my senses
and my protective nature towards her reasserted itself. I'd nearly lost her
before she'd come to Florida in an accident far worse than today's had been,
but the thought that this one I'd seen had been minor compared to what she was
saying she'd been through recently chilled my blood.
"You're okay,
right?" I asked with fear lacing my voice.
"Yes," she
soothed, her hands coming up to frame my face as she smiled lightly at me.
"I'm okay. Nothing too serious, all the parts are working."
I tried not to smile but
failed miserably. Seeing that my fear had ebbed, she moved her hands to rest on
my thighs again, much to my, ahem, physical discomfort.
"So, if we're back
together, and based on what you've said we are, is that going to cause you
problems with training? Hell Kim, is my visit here putting you in jeopardy of
being removed from the program?" I asked hurriedly, afraid if I didn't get
it out in one breath that I'd be reluctant to do so at all.
Watching Kimberly frown
is not a pleasant sight. I think in the last three years I've seen her look
this determined yet troubled less than a dozen times. Whatever she was
considering couldn't be good.
"I don't
know."
"It almost seemed
like when Adelle mentioned you missing curfew because of my visit you were
welcoming the idea that it would get you removed from the training
program," I asked gently. "Kim, do you want to quit?"
"If I don't see
this through, I'm just not sure what else I have," she said quietly after
a moment of silence that was a little too long for my liking.
"What do you
mean?"
"I gave up so much
to come here, and if I don't make it, I'll have given up everything for
nothing. You, the team, Angel Grove..."
"Hey," I
start, sliding my hands up to her face as I watch the conflicting emotions
swirl in her eyes. "You have me and you'll never lose me. And Angel Grove
and the team are still there waiting for you, no matter if you're a World
famous gymnast or not."
"You and Angel
Grove, yes, but the team... There's no place for me there now."
Sighing, I couldn't help
but shake my head. I should have expected this. Hell, I'd been here myself when
I'd lost my Green Ranger powers. Sure, I had the team's support and Kim's love
at the time, but it still didn't fill that hole I was feeling. It wasn't until
Zordon handed me the mantle of the White Ranger that I felt like I fit in
again. And her fear of being an outsider with her friends is very
understandable to me.
"Kim, what if we
could bring you back?"
"What?"
"Back, to the team.
Like Zordon did with me, like we did with the Ninjetti powers. We know that
there's other power out there, we could find it for you, bring you back to the
team."
Kim sat there and
pondered my suggestion. I know that she remembered the many times she herself
had asked why I couldn't be given other powers, even the White Ranger powers
before I revealed myself to the team. I could see how tempting the thought was,
being back in action, in uniform with the team, with me... then a cloud of
doubt fell over her, and I watched her start to retreat from the hope I was
offering her.
"There's no
guarantee that we could do that Tommy. I don't know if I could go back only to
not have it work out. And if we did find a power source, how long would it take
to do so? A week, a month, longer? What would I do while you looked for it?
Tommy, I still don't even know what I would do if I did come back, team or
otherwise."
"Come back to Angel
Grove high, graduate with the rest of us. Be with me," I stated seriously.
"How? Mom's in
Paris, Aisha's not there anymore, and Billy's gone too," she countered
stubbornly.
"You could stay
with Kat or Tanya," I suggested, then found myself saying what I really
wanted, "or with me."
Once the words left my
mouth, I felt my heart start hammering in my chest like a drum. Oh shit, what
the fuck did I just suggest? That Kim and I live together? From Kim's wide eyes
look of shock, I think she had gotten the gist of my unspoken suggestion as
well.
"I mean, we... I...
my folks have a guestroom. You could stay there until after graduation."
"You think your
parents would be okay with that? Or that my mom would be?" Kim remarked
with a slightly seductive but skeptical tone to her voice.
"We won't know
until we ask," answered honestly. "The truth is I would move heaven
and earth to bring you home to me Beautiful. If that means braving my parents
and yours to get you a place to live, I'll do that. If it means searching the universe
for a new power for you, I will. I'll do whatever I need to if you want to come
home to Angel Grove. But it has to be your decision. I don't want to be
responsible for making you walk away from this opportunity."
Before I knew what had
hit me, Kim had leapt foreword and wrapped her arms around my neck. Automatically,
I pulled her closer to me, my arms going around her waist as I reveled in the
feel of her this close to me again.
"Who's parents do
we call first?" she asked, her voice muffled against my skin.
The next thing I knew we
were both laughing and hugging so hard I was afraid I'd break Kim's ribs. My
mind was just dazed by this revelation. She was coming home!
"I love you so much
Beautiful. It hurt me so badly when I thought you'd found someone else," I
mumbled as the laughter began to be replaced with an overwhelming hyper-sense
of the serious path that we were undertaking.
"Only you Tommy.
It's only ever been you," she replied as she pulled back to look me in the
eyes, all the love for me showing there as plain as day.
With that I leaned down
and kissed her like I'd been dying to since I'd laid eyes on her in the gym.
Her lips were as sweet as I remembered them, and I couldn't help but slant my
mouth against hers and drink deeper of her. I'd been starved for her for months
and hadn't even known it. Kim answered in kind, twining her fingers in my hair
and swiping her tongue at the tip of mine.
I moaned and focused on
bringing as much of her body her in contact with mine. Without any effort, I
slid my hands under her ass and lifted her onto my lap. Her breasts strained against
my chest and I felt the twin hard points scrape through my shirts as if they
weren't there.
This was quickly getting
out of hand, and I was loathe to stop it as much as Kimberly seemed to be,
judging from the way she wiggled her pelvis to adjust her position on my lap
and my straining erection.
Luckily before I could
be a gentleman and pull away, my communicator went off. The sound was like a
bucket of ice, shocking us back to reality.
"Yes Zordon?"
"I'M SORRY TO
INTERUPT YOUR TRIP TOMMY, BUT THE TEAM NEEDS YOU URGENTLY IN ANGEL GROVE. YOU
NEED TO TELEPORT BACK IMMEDIATELY."
My eyes caught Kim's,
and I was surprised at the glowing smile and sparkling eyes that greeted me. I
was going to have to leave her for the moment, and she seemed almost pleased.
That threw me.
"You're okay with
this Beautiful?"
"Go. While you're
gone, I'll catch a cab back to the dorm and pack up. But by the time you get
back Mr. Oliver, you better be prepared to take me back with you."
I gave her such a goofy,
happy grin, I was worried she was going to think I'd lost my mind.
"I'll be right
there Zordon."
With that, I pulled my
hand from the communicator and wrapped both of them around Kim's tiny waist.
Lowering my head, I kissed her soundly, a promise being made that I intended to
keep. Kim answered it in every way.
"I'll be back
soon," I said when I finally pulled back from the kiss. "So go take
care of settling things here and calling your mom while I'm gone. When I get
back, we're outta here."
"I'm counting on
it."
With that, I pulled
away, and pressed my communicator, teleporting myself back to Angel Grove as my
heart or more precisely Hart waited for my return in Miami.
End
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