Always a Ranger - Part 28
Grabbing the Bronze Ring
By Jeannine Trevizo
God, I hate
packing.
I’ve spent
the last three days doing it, and finally I’m down to the last box. As I look
around my apartment, I wonder how I could have emptied it so fast. Perhaps I
had pathetically too few things that I really wanted to keep and ship, or maybe
I realized that I’m starting over in a way.
I’ve sold the
furniture and have been sleeping on an air mattress. Selling the couch was
probably the hardest. All I could see was Tommy and I sitting there, and him
telling me that he still loved me after all the time that had passed. I loved
that couch for the last year and a half because of that. I think I fell asleep
on it more than I should have, and I made a point to sit on my side, even
though he wasn’t there. Luckily the young woman who was starting off new in her
first apartment didn’t mind the still slightly visible stains of mud and blood
that Tommy left there.
And actually,
I was happy to sell the bed. I never shared it with anyone… it was my ‘single’
bed. Now I know there’s a queen sized bed to share on the other side if the
country waiting for me. And if the days and nights I’ve already spent in it is
any indication, I’ll love every day, year, decade that we’ll have together in
it.
The computer
was donated to a non-profit yesterday, after I got a really good deal for my
taxes next year. I cleaned all my personal stuff off it… I have to thank all
the computer know-how I got from Billy’s for that. Still, it cuts off all my
electronic contact. I had to send everyone an e-mail before I handed it over,
letting them know that until I get to Reefside that I’m out of pocket, or
whatever the term is.
I packed the
kitchen appliances, dishes and silverware. I know Tommy has this stuff, but you
can never have too many plates or glasses. I can imagine him right now, hunting
through the cabinets, looking for one clean glass, because he hasn’t thought to
do dishes for the last week while Mesogog and his cronies keep his mind on
battles and teamwork.
Towels,
linens, clothes… everything is packed.
So here it
is, my life in boxes. Boxes that I’m sending to Reefside to Tommy and *our*
house. At least it will ‘technically’ be ours once I get off the plane in
Reefside. The shipping company is picking them all up on Wednesday, and with
the ground delivery, which was the cheapest; they should arrive well after I’ve
arrived in Greece. And that means they won’t be cluttering up the place too
long before I can get there and start unpacking.
Before me
sits the last box… it’s the one with the most valuable things I own, the ones
that I would just cry if I lost. I’d take them to Athens with me, if I already
didn’t have a suitcase and duffle bag full of clothes that I need to have for
the next three weeks.
As I begin to
put the items into the cardboard box one by one, I find myself reminiscing
about days gone by and my future…
First to
start to go in is my photo album from my younger years… in Angel Grove.
It makes a
stop on my lap before it goes in the box and I open it to see candid pictures
of my friends. I smile with regret as I note a snapshot of Trini pummeling
Jason for something with Zack looking on. I miss her. She’d be so happy that
Tommy and I are back together.
Another shows
Tommy and I at the spring dance after he first asked me out. It’s a favorite of
mine, and I can see in our body language the deep love that we have now just
starting to appear.
I remember
thinking that I’d like to get the picture framed and give him a copy, but I
never seemed to get around to it. Maybe after I get to Reefside I can finally
frame it, and we can put it on the nightstand… a reminder of how we got to
where we are now.
I flip the
page and find one of the group before Jason, Zack and Trini left for
Switzerland. When they made that decision, I remember telling Tommy that I
couldn’t bear it if he was to leave too. I think that was the first time I
realized just how much a part of me he was.
How much a
part of me he is.
And now we’re
going to be together.
I have to
admit, I’m still nervous about this. A lot of water has gone under the bridge
since we were teenagers and loved one another without reservation. Now we’re
adults, with responsibilities, bills and baggage.
But I’ve made
the decision finally. No more putting off making this work. We love each other,
and I don’t think I know how to be without him anymore.
Turning back
to the book, I find a photo of Adam, Rocky and Tommy at a local martial arts
competition. I have to say that Adam, Aisha and Rocky filled the void Jason,
Trini and Zack left well. Hell, Aisha and I are as close as sisters. Close like
Trini and I were…
There are
days I really wish both of them were here; Aisha closer to me and Trini still
alive.
A shot of me
at a regional meet on the floor exercise reminds me of two things, one a memory
that still aches and the other a future promise…
The memory is
that of how I ended up on this path, and alone for so much of it. There are
days, even now that I hate myself for letting my mom, Coach Schmidt and the
team convince me to go to Florida. I threw away my responsibility to be a ranger,
be a good friend, be my love’s companion when I accepted Coach Schmidt’s offer.
And now, on the eve of leaving for the Olympics, as a coach and not an athlete,
I question my decision again.
I lost so
much by going. I lost all the years I could have with Tommy, hurt both of us
and estranged the friendship we had to begin with before we fell in love.
Well, if I’m
really honest, I’m pretty sure I fell in love with him at first sight, but it
was deepened by the months of friendship, tempered by being teammates.
I let my
fears and my emotions get the better of me, and I made a mistake. One both of
us paid for until we talked after Trini’s funeral.
Now we have a
future… one that, if everything goes right will include a teaching job when I
get to Reefside. I have yet to hear back about the instructor position at
Reefside’s Gymnastics Academy. Although once the games are over, I wouldn’t be
surprised if my resume gets a closer look. Depending on how the team does, I
wouldn’t be surprised if I have a few offers before I leave Greece. But it
won’t matter. I’m not going anywhere that isn’t a simple hour commute from
Reefside.
I made the
decision this time to make our relationship my first priority, when for the
last two and a half years, it’s been our jobs that came first. I’m willing to
do whatever I have to, take whatever job I can get to support my choice. So if
I don’t get this job, I’ll find something else. And of course, after I show up
in Reefside I’ll have an easier time of job hunting.
My photo
album stops right about the time I got to Florida. I remember a few months
after I sent Tommy the letter and Chris and I were dating I packed it away and
started a new one for my new life. Unfortunately I never really filled it much.
While I’ve had work friends, I never had friends that weren’t from Angel Grove…
I saw Aisha, Trini and Jason more often than I went out for a night on the town
with the women coaches I worked with.
All in all,
my life without Tommy has been empty in so many ways. Why the hell would I not
be willing to drop everything and go to him?
A framed
photo of the Women’s Olympic Gymnastics team that I just got two days ago
reminds me of the reason.
These girls
are so damned good. They have their whole lives ahead of them, and they have
the chance to win an Olympic medal. And I have the responsibility and honor of
helping them get there.
In the grand
scheme of things, what I do for them is so much more important than what I do
for myself.
That was what
Tommy meant when he insisted I come back to Boston. He knew that I could stay
there and we’d be happy. But I would have missed the chance to be there for
them. To see them succeed where I failed.
And in doing
so, I succeed with them.
I can’t help
the silent laughter that fills my mind. There are times when I think I know
Tommy better than he does, yet in fact, it is he who knows me better than I
know myself.
Next I spy a
medal from competing at a regional meet in Angel Grove. The first prize
overall. I remember working hard for it. It was right before Zordon offered us
the first ranger powers. I was so overwhelmed by the award, the ‘gold’ medal
I’d been awarded for my skill.
Yet I ended
up turning away from those kinds of meets to make more time for school, Tommy,
my friends and being a ranger.
And I never
regretted it.
But now I’m
ready to make another transition in my life. I made one when I became a ranger.
I made another when I chose to try and win a gold medal in the Pan Global
games. Now I’m making the biggest choice of my life… I’m going after a
different type of metal – the brass ring.
Although in
my case, maybe it should be the bronze…
But the truth
is that *this* is everything I have always wanted. Olympics dreams and Pan
Global trials were just fantasies, fairy tales that a girl tells herself in the
lines of being a brave nurse helping sick people and being a police officer and
stopping bad guys. Real life is working in a fast food restaurant, being a
secretary or a gymnastics coach.
Real life
does also have rewards, and I’m getting mine when I step into Tommy’s arms and
know I never have to leave them again. That will be the true prize.
Being with
the one man whom I have always loved and always will love.
I decide that
it’s time to focus on the packing and less on the reminiscing and start to
shovel things into the box: stuffed animals, certificates, trinkets and
jewelry. All things that made me who I am today. Made me into the woman that
Thomas James Oliver wants in his life. And I will always cherish these things
for that alone.
As I put the
lid on the box, I take the packing tape and seal it shut. Affixing the label, I
stand and survey my life again… packed and ready to resume again in Reefside.
Where I
belong.
With him.
-End-
To be
continued…
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