The Dion Files

Your Light

By Jeannine Ackerson

 

9/26/97

Rating: PG for adult content of minimal levels.

Disclaimer: The X-Files and the characters portrayed therein are property of C. Carter, FOX & 1013 Prod. Celine Dion's song, "Your Light" is also used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.

Relationship: UST to MSR.

Summary: Stuck in their hotel room in a blackout, Mulder and Scully divine the true magnitude of their 'bond'.

Hi all! Alright, I know it's been a *long* while since one of these was written, but I'm going to try and finish this project. There are two Dion Files left to go. If you're still looking for these, I'm more than pleased and I hope that this one, and the last will be worth the wait. Anyhow, on to the story. . .

It was pitch black in the motel.

The constant wind and rain, and then the thunderstorm that had chased them inside had finally spawned lighting, which in turn had knocked out the power.

And so Fox Mulder and Dana Scully huddled around the light from her laptop screen and looked over the case report. It was something to do. And it was light.

Unfortunately it was a little too small for them to be 'comfortably' seated and still read the screen. Mulder had scrunched in, his shoulder rubbing against Scully's at every move, but he still had to crane his neck to see the screen properly. All in all, they were just too close to one another for it to be comfortable.

Seeing his discomfort, Scully, being the practical woman that she was, simply reached over, took his hand and looped his arm behind her back, thereby removing his shoulder from the equation and bringing him into the range of the screen.

His eyebrows raised at the gesture, as he realized that he had his arm along his partners' back in a dark motel room. And that she'd placed it there herself. There was a lot of room to read something into that situation if someone was so inclined.

But he wasn't sure if he should be.

Old fears and doubts quietly made themselves known to him in the barely illuminated blackness. He had no right to even think this way about his partner. She'd never even given him a reason to hope that she might think of him as more than a partner.

Yet his own wants and desires had been building and denied for too long for him to pass up the opportunity being presented to him. He just had to have a little. A sweet memory to play along with so many other stolen moments and accidental happenings. So he let his hand curled over her shoulder and rest there, his hand snuggly fitted across the curve of her body.

At the touch of his hand on her shoulder, Scully fought with herself between the two reactions she had. The feel of his warm fingers through her blouse sent a chill and fire along her nerve endings.

She did her best to control herself, but when his fingers closed down on her shoulder, her fingers jerked, striking a key on the computer.

Suddenly the next thing Mulder knew, Scully had hit a button on her keypad and swore. Then there was an error message on the laptop's screen and music. Obviously Scully had the event tagged to a wav. file, and it had begun to play as soon as the 'mistake' happened.

And once the first note of the music had begun, Mulder was intrigued. As it was, Scully had tried to shut up the music, but couldn't. By the time she could have turned off the sound, the thirty second clip was over. But the words that had went by so fast had made an indelible impression on him. Enough of one to ask some questions that could be more than just musical in nature. He fought down a shiver at the idea of what he was doing and forged ahead.

"Scully, who was that?" he asked in a whisper soft voice.

She was blushing crimson, and it took her another few minutes to find her voice again. As it was, Mulder staring at her has her flustered enough. There was something about how he was looking at her. . .

"Celine Dion. One of my friends knows I like her and found this wav. file on the Internet for me. I tagged it to this event, figuring it so rarely happens that no one would know. . ." she rambled on, trying to keep from stumbling over her own tongue.

"Do you have the whole song?"

She looked at him, his hazel eyes black in the darkness of the room. She wanted to say no, that she didn't. Put off this sudden, strange line of questioning, but she couldn't. But that was a lie, and she knew that he would know it. Besides, she thought, what harm would it do to play it for him?

With that thought, she nodded her head slightly and carefully got up from the chair. Maneuvering her way to her suitcase, she fished blindly for the cassette player and the headphones. Luckily, the last tape that was in the player was the album with the song on it. Walking back, she checked to see where she was on the tape, and ended up having to fast forward through a few songs as she came back within the circle of light and to Mulder's side.

They leaned in, sharing the headphones between them as the music began.

//Hey man, come over here

There's a secret that I wanna whisper in your ear

I've waited so long, too long

But I can't deny it anymore it's just too strong

It's a special kind of feelin'

Something to believe in, oh yeah//

Oh God, Scully thought as she listened to the words. She'd forgotten what it was about this song that had originally caught her attention and her soul. The fact that it was the verbalization of her most secret fantasy.

To tell him *her* secret.

She could feel his eyes dart from the screen and settle on her face as the song went on. With an effort, she tried to ignore the feeling that it was nurturing in her soul. One that didn't think logically. The feeling that just wanted to pour out her soul to this man beside her.

//So lay back, and let it flow

Then just open up your heart and let your feelings go

I said hey man, yo man

Well it's really not that difficult to understand

That it's me that you've been seein'

Baby when you're dreamin', at night//

Mulder frowned with the last two lines and averted his eyes as he felt her shudder beside him. Did she know that he dreamed about her? Was that why she had shuddered? Or was it for a more serious reason. Like the fact that it seemed so very coincidental that she liked a song that seemed to speak of hidden feelings.

And who better to keep her feelings to herself than the infamous, "enigmatic" Dr. Scully?

His thoughts were left behind as the next set of lyrics invaded his brain and left no room for curiosity into his partner's motives and feelings.

//So let your walls come down

And you'll feel my emotion

I will shelter you

From a tear or an ocean//

Walls, they both thought, even though they didn't realize that they were almost sharing the image. The years had built their walls, and somehow the only person that had slipped past so many of them was the other. Seen the emotions within and given the other solace and strength.

//Whenever your hope is gone

I'll give you strength to carry on

In the darkness of the night

I will be your light

I'll give you something to hold on to

When you can't find your way

Like a fire burning bright

I will be your light//

After taking a deep breath, Scully finally let her eyes meet Mulder's, bridging the gap of space and emotions between them. She'd offered herself to him as that "light" years ago. Had found that together they were so much more than they were separately. Sure, she was a good pathologist and agent in the field. And Mulder was a brilliant profiler and field agent, but when they were paired. . . they were an unbeatable combination. Something that was a rarity.

They were a *team*.

And somehow Mulder caught the words, the emotions and meanings to so many of his own unspoken thoughts in her gaze. Reflexively he swallowed, feeling the lump in his throat tighten somewhere around his chest and refuse to leave. It had no where else to go until he had his answers.

Until they said something. . .

Or the song ended.

//So relax, we'll take it slow

I wouldn't think you'd really have a better place to go

I said hey man, yo man

Why don't you move a little closer here and

Take my hand

Are you feelin' what I'm feelin'

I know I must be dreamin', oh yeah//

Spurred on by the suggestion given to him via Dion's words, Mulder carefully slid his hand over Scully's, where she held the Walkman and almost gave it a squeeze before he lightly covered it. Her eyes darted from where she'd focused them, watching his hand to look at his face and gauge his expression. A slight smile curved his lips and he glanced away from her gaze.

He was a brave man, but the intensity of the moment was just too much for him. He was only human after all, and the way that it seemed she was looking at him was surely a crime, and could drive a sane man to madness, let alone someone already on the edge like him.

//But sometimes life can come

To build a wall in between us

Don't let it get you down

Whoever said love was an easy thing//

Something in Scully's soul sang with the words filling her ear. No, no one had ever said love was easy, and loving a man like Fox Mulder was as far from easy as she could get. He was a challenge. Loving him would be a challenge. And she was always one who *liked* challenges.

//Whenever your hope is gone

I'll give you strength to carry on

In the darkness of the night

I will be your light

I'll give you something to hold on to

When you can't find your way

Like a fire burning bright

I will be your light//

Mulder looked at her as he understood exactly what Scully had become to him in the course of the years they'd been together. She was the light that kept him on the path. Sure, he'd stray, wandering off on his own private quests or crusades, but he always came back. He'd held on and so had she, finding that the only thing they could both count on, rely on was each other.

And now it was obvious to him how and why he'd survived all this time; made it back to the X-Files and life again and again. It was because of her. She was his light, shining in the darkness and leading him back to her and the path they were on together. She was the light in the darkness of his night.

And he needed her more than he'd ever imagined. Tonight was just the realization by his brain of what his body and his heart and soul had known all along. He just needed her to realize this as well.

//I will be your light

Whenever you need a friend

Just come over to me baby

Baby, Baby, Baby

So let your walls come down

And you'll feel my emotion

I will shelter you

From a tear or an ocean//

Scully found herself caught in his eyes, staring at the naked part of his soul. And there she found her heart again, after all the years she thought she'd been missing it, she now realized quite the contrary. She wasn't missing it, she'd given it away.

To Mulder.

And now she was finding it again. Along with finding that she'd been carrying his with her all this time without knowing it.

She smiled brightly at him in the dim light at the understanding that she'd found. If only she could make him see what was right in front of him. . .

//Whenever your hope is gone

I'll give your strength to carry on

In the darkness of the night

I will be your light

I'll give you something to hold on to

When you can't find your way

Like a fire burning bright

I will be your light//

Mulder felt the shift between them more than he saw it. The distance that they had kept between them was gone, like it had never been. And somehow he understood that the walls that they'd put there had been constructed simply to protect the reality of the depth of their feelings until the day came that they could face them. Be open to them and give in to what was meant to be.

Until now.

//Whenever your hope is gone

I'll give you strength to carry on

In the darkness of the night

I will be your light

Light, shining bright, baby

I'll be the one who holds you, baby

I'll be the one who loves you, baby

Be the one who holds you, loves you,

Baby, baby//

The music died away and they were left sitting there, surrounded outside of their shelter of light by darkness. And it seemed like they were the only two people on the planet at the moment, which they might as well have been. Then Mulder found in her eyes and in himself something that made him cross the line between them.

"You're my strength Scully," Mulder said quietly, the timber of his voice cutting through the silence shocking her.

"I know," she admitted, and at the words passed her lips, she realized exactly what that answer meant.

They stared at one another in the near dark. The distance between them was nothing physically. Just a few inches. But emotionally and spiritually they had been inside of one another all along. It was only acting upon that closeness that they had denied themselves.

And neither one of them wanted to deny anything anymore.

"I love you Mulder," she finally said in a near-whisper, inching her lips towards his with a need that surpassed anything she'd ever felt before.

Choosing to let his actions speak for him, Mulder caught her face in his hands and crushed her lips to his. There was no denying anymore the passion and rightness of the feelings they were experiencing.

This was right. They were right.

And as he finally let her lips pull from his, stunned into silence, he realized that he could only answer her words in the only way he could at the moment.

Then suddenly, the lights came up in the room, bathing them in bright light. The brightness caused them both to squint, and the blaring of the television in the room assaulted their ears. Quickly Scully pulled her hands from the Walkman and got up from her seat to turn it off.

Once the set was off, she looked back to where she and Mulder had been sitting, and found that her computer had been turned off, and that he was up and standing by the door. Her heart sunk as she thought that he was leaving, the light returning his sense of right and wrong and not wanting to pursue this any more for fear of the consequences.

Then she heard the chain lock slide into place. And in a second she realized that he wasn't going anywhere. The thought of what he was doing, what they were starting made her shiver.

Mulder watched her as she stood looking at him, hesitant yet eager. And he knew that now was the time for him to say what he had stopped himself from saying earlier. But the words 'I love you' just didn't seem to convey what he needed to express. How much she was to him. And then his memory latched on the words.

"And you're my light," he said with a low, rumble to his voice.

Scully smiled as she absorbed the truth and meaning of his words, knowing that they were better than a thousand 'I love you's'.

And then, Mulder reached over and flipped off the light switch before they moved to one another in the dark. Because they knew now that they didn't need any other illumination other than the light of their love.

-End-

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