The Dion Files

My Heart Will Go On

By Jeannine Ackerson

 

February 4, 1998

Rating: PG for adult content of minimal levels.

Disclaimer: The X-Files and the characters portrayed therein are property of C. Carter, FOX & 1013 Prod. Celine Dion's song, "My Heart Will Go On" from the movie "Titanic" is also used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.

Spoiler Warning: Third season - "The Blessing Way".

Relationship: Oh, I don't know. Probably MSR. ; ) Fluff, definitely. But pleasant fluff nonetheless.

Summary: Years after Mulder's "Death" in New Mexico, Scully hears something that brings back her dream.

Hi all! Alright, I know I haven't put out either the *last* Dion File or *ANYTHING* for a while, but this one hopefully will make up for it. And no there's no new "Dion Files" guys. (Really. There aren't.) Anyhow, on to the story...

-September 1996-

She'd walked to her mothers the night before. By the time she had reached Maggie Scully's door, she'd removed her shoes to alleviate the painful blisters starting to make each step agony. And she'd given release to the emotions that had been stirring in her heart and soul since she'd left New Mexico.

Dana Scully had cried in her mother's arms at her feeling of betrayal and loss and sorrow.

For Fox Mulder, her partner, her best friend was dead. And she'd failed to back him up. She'd failed to support him. She'd failed to die with him.

She was alive. He was not.

Where was the sense in that?

Scully had spent that night at her Mom's home. The next evening, Margaret had driven her daughter home, and once she was inside her apartment, Scully had tried to put it all in perspective.

She hadn't known that going out there would be like signing his death warrant. If she's known, she wouldn't have let him go alone. She'd have gone with him, damn the consequences. To hell with her job and the Bureau. She belonged at his side. He was her partner. In more things than just their work.

Sighing at that thought, she sat heavily on the bed as she stripped off her clothes to get ready for another night of restless sleep.

There had never been another person that she had felt as close to as Mulder. Even though their relationship had kept them at a "professional" distance, the fact that they were closer than any other team of agents had been pointed out to her on more than a few occasions. And she had begun to see it as well.

How he valued her even when they disagreed. How they seemed to understand the other, even from the very beginning.

How the slightest touch of his hand could cross the gap from friendly to provocative in a split second.

They had never spoken of it. Yet as she had sat there at his bedside in Farmington, she had let her guard slip more than usual. She had told him that she thought they would have killed him. She had let him see how much that would have effected her. How it would have killed the best part of her.

They were closer than they should be, to tell the truth. Even closer than any lovers should or could be. They needed each other more than she could say.

Now he was gone, she realized as she buttoned the last button on her pajamas. And now, her heart ached at his absence.

Now she was alone.

Alone and guilty of letting him go to his death by himself. By almost forcing him to do it. Making him feel guilty by telling him what she'd found in the files that she'd had translated. Telling him how she *needed* him to find out for her.

Without any real desire, she got under the covers, reaching over to shut off the offending light and closed her eyes. If she could just get a few hours of decent sleep before Bill Mulder's funeral in the morning. . .

Slowly, she felt the exhaustion override the pain as she sank into darkness. She turned in the covers, feeling the grasp of sleep take hold and draw her down into oblivion.

Then she took a detour.

Somewhere in her mind, she heard music. Lilting Celtic tunes like her mother had liked to listen to on quiet rainy days when Scully's father had been out to sea and her mom had missed him. And within that music, she heard words. Ones that she couldn't make out, but somehow were comforting to her. Word who's meaning was important.

Then, she felt his presence.

In a haze of blue, she saw his face.

Mulder. . .

And then she heard his voice. Even in her sleep his message was relayed to her with a clarity and deep meaning that she could stake her life and heart on. Desperately, she hung on every word, her soul self listening and taking strength in his visitation.

Until she suddenly bolted in bed as his soul left hers. Her eyes were unfocused, her mind still dazed, but here was one thing she knew now.

Mulder was far from dead.

-Two years later-

Scully sat in front of her TV, idly flipping channels as she waited for Mulder to arrive with their pizza and the case files for tomorrow's assignment. Things were so different now, it was strange. They'd been through so much since they'd first met, yet there were things that they still didn't know about one another.

Perhaps they were things that they knew, but had refused to see. Denied existed. Taken for granted.

Suddenly, almost of its own volition, Scully's hand dropped the remote as the first strains of a music video began on the television. Her eyes quickly locked on the set and she soon found herself listening with every fiber of her being to the woman on the screen.

"Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you,

That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance and spaces between us

You have come to show you go on"

The words and music hit her like a floodgate being opened. She sat transfixed by the images on the screen and her own replaying memories as the song penetrated her soul, the words that had been vague back then were clear now. . .

"Near, far, wherever you are,

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more, you open the door

And you're here in my heart,

And my heart will go on and on"

She could see it, him again. Feel him, just like that night all those years. . .

"Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,

And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to

In my life we'll always go on"

So in tune with what she was experiencing, she never heard the knock on the door, the jingle of the keys, the click of the locks and the swinging open of the door. . .

"Near, far, wherever you are,

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more, you open the door

And you're here in my heart,

And my heart will go on and on"

He stood there, pizza and files in hand until he saw the tears streaming down Scully's face. Without a second thought, everything fell to the floor. . .

"You're here, there's nothing I fear,

And I know that my heart will go on

We'll stay forever this,

You are safe in my heart,

And my heart will go on and on"

At the moment that the music died away, Scully blinked away the daze and tears and saw Mulder staring at her, the concern and love written on his face. That second, she had never seen so openly displayed before, she thought. Or perhaps she just had never looked close enough.

His hand came to rest against her cheek and for the fist time, she recognized the fire that lit along her nerve endings at his touch. How had she forgotten? How could she have ignored it all this time? And how could she have denied telling him what she'd seen all those years ago, what she'd felt?

"Scully?" Mulder questioned in the low, velvet tone that was his alone.

"I'm alright Mulder," she reassured him, laying her own hand over his. She needed to tell him. She had to say the words that would let him understand how deeply they were connected. How much their future was intermingled. "I just. . ."

He looked at her, waiting patiently for an answer. She knew that he would wait as long as she needed him to. Yet she felt as if he'd been waiting for her pronouncement for too long already. Two years too long.

"Mulder, do you remember the boxcar in New Mexico, when we all thought you were dead?"

At her words, she saw the slight shiver to his shoulders and his hand fell away from her face, her hand falling with it. The fact that he'd survived a *fire* of all things had been a blessing. That he'd endured it had been something more than desperation and dedication. It was necessity.

He nodded, not wanting to speak and break her train of thought. Whatever she had on her mind was something Mulder wanted to hear.

"The night before you came back. Before your father's funeral, I'd experienced something. . ." she paused, trying to come up with the right words. "You know that I had said that I told your mother that you were alive, and that I just "knew"? Well, I didn't just *know*. I'd *felt* you. Heard and seen you the night before. You came to me, telling me of how "you had returned to join me on our journey". I'd. . ."

Her eyes dropped from his as she suddenly felt foolish for telling him this.

"You saw me," Mulder breathed, stunned.

Scully's head jerked up suddenly at his words. Her mouth refused to work, and she realized that it had fallen open in surprise and shock. Gathering her senses back, she reached forward with a tentative hand, only to have him catch it up in his own.

"How?" she asked.

"Albert had said that I could reach anyone I was close to. Give them the feeling that I was ok. But he had explained that the stronger the attachment, the better the "message" would come through. I tried it with my mom, but. . . But I never thought that when I reached out for you. . ."

Now his eyes dropped, unable to keep her gaze. He had neglected to tell her all these years that he'd been drawn to her. Had seen her lying in her bed. Felt her emotions, looked into her heart and touched her soul. And in that moment, he'd known that he couldn't not come back to her. So he'd given her his promise: to return and be at her side.

But he'd never known that she had heard him, seen him, felt him as well.

Until now.

"That you would reach me so easily, touch me so deeply," she replied without hesitation.

He nodded in agreement, the words failing him.

She understood.

"Our hearts and souls knew then what our minds refused to accept. That we belong together," Scully admitted softly.

Again, Mulder found that there were no words to reply. Instead, he took her face in his hands and drew her to him, pressing his lips to hers in the physical act of bringing their souls together.

Finally, inside themselves, they could feel the completeness that they had know was waiting for them all this time. And now, their hearts could go on.

-End-

Thank you for your readership and patience as the "Machine" slows down to a more human pace. I appreciate both more than I can express. J.

Dedication: To the man whom I call friend, confidant, lover and soul mate. Words will never be enough to express the depths of my heart and soul, so I offer Celine's fine romantic ability to say it for me.

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